Barack Obama Won In the Election

BOWIE, yeah, you know it’s original, you do, suck it up, cunts.

Welcome, Hussein, tell us how you’re gonna fulfill all your promises.
Make me believe that you will:

1) Legalize marihuana
2) Build a new health care system
3) Get the the ecomony out of its shithole

You won’t, will ya? ‘Cause now that you’ve won, you can start killing the promises, dumping your policies into the same pit where every other president ever has, and start abiding to the will of the GREAT COMPANIES.

At least Palin won’t be president now and the world won’t give a shit if Mccain dies.

- Zack

Real slick, bro

I like to write in white. You know, as I write this down on my notebook with office the background is black and my text is white. I like to call it my “mind write”-system which works quite well. My mind is black and I need to make it a little less dark by colouring it up with words.
And still, just like I want it, it’s all black and white. Mostly black.

Can you guess what kind of music I listen to while filling your mind with this useless crap of mine? Jazz. I like jazz. Just like every good kind of music, it makes a man calm. No matter if an ape has shat all over my car and fucked my girlfriend, ’cause there’s nothing a little bit of Glenn Miller couldn’t fix.

I also enjoy being an even bigger of an asshole. I like whiskey. Fine Irish whiskey that is. Without ice. Fine dark whiskey, which feels like licking a dead pirate’s wife.

These are the things I like in human life. These things make my life feel good. Or at least ok. All the other shit that comes along ruins the fun.

Fuck you Sarah Palin.
Fuck you climate change.
Fuck you Bill Clinton.
Fuck you NASA.
Fuck you NATO.
Fuck you.

-Zack

Fifteen minutes number three

It’s that time again, when I have to deal with a short amount of time. But I do have a lot to say.

I hate the new Metallica album. They are old now, and they really have got no clue how to make a good album anymore. The songs are too fucking long, James doesn’t even know how to sing anymore and Lars’s drumming fucking amazes me. Not many drummers regress over time. Most people progress. PROGRESS.

And why do they need to have the hundreds of different types of the album, which are all overpriced like hell? And also, why do they have to mix the whole shit into a pile of bad-looking dung, when they spent fucking hundreds of thousands of dollars making the fuckshit. I hate you Metallica, fuck you.

One thing that has come up to my mind nowadays is racism. There is not a single person in the world today who could explain me about the force that drives these assholes. These conservative nazi-fuckbags who need to be shot in the eye with sawn-off shotguns. If someone really knows how to explain to me about what the fuck the whole thing is about, I would be really happy. ‘Though it is impossible, and you’d only make asses out of yourselves.

And by the way, McDonalds sucks even more than McCain. I ate there last thursday for the first time in five years and that will not be my longest break from that pile of shit, no no. They had these fucking muffins filled with cheese and grease, stuffed with ham and every other how-to-make-your-heart-explode-type of materials. And I had to eat one, Oh My God. I nearly died.

And by the way, Immanuel Kant was a cunt.

Sarah “the Monster” Palin

Forget what I said about Cheney. He is a noble man, I lovable man, jesus christ, he is the most perfect individual anywhere – when compared to Sarah Palin.

Now let me get this straight. She wants to increase United States’ dependance on oil and promotes the natural gas resource development in Alaska? Oh my god. We’ve reached the IDIOT-FACTOR!
Seriously, is she stupid? Well it definitely looks like it. And she’s also willing to promote it. She doesn’t even believe that man has anything to do with global warming. Oh. Yeah. ‘Cause God wouldn’t let people do that. Yeah. Right.
And by the way, she is a member of the National Rifle Association.

And you know what? SHE OPPOSES TEENAGERS HAVING SEX, BUT SUPPORTS HER DAUGHTER HAVING A BABY AT THE AGE OF 17.
Satan, I tell you. Sarah “the Monster” Palin

Forget what I told you earlier, and fucking vote. VOTE OBAMA. PLEASE.

Otherwise the world will be in turmoil. It can not bear the demon USA would become if a beast like her would get to the White House.

-Zack

A letter to Mark Lanegan

Hi Mark, here’s Zack from the NYC.

I just wanted to thank you. If someone could show me the soul of music, it would look a lot like you. Screaming Trees was a dramatic grunge-act for me, I never got over your magical voice, whitch, I’ve heard, you have treated with drugs and whiskey. If everyone did, we would live in a warmer world.

QOTSA was cool too. Though I never thought you were you in the band, no one can growl as great as you do in The Song For the Dead. That just wasn’t the flame that set my insides on fire, it was The Gutter Twins that did that. You rock so hard it’s uncomprehendable. I think Saturnalia is the album which I always hoped you would make. A dark, soulful combination of your previous work and Dulli’s has a sense of purpose in it. As I drift through the whole album I find that life is worth living as boring as it may seem.

Shit, you touch me man. Thanks a lot.

Yours Sincerely

-Zack Snyder

A letter to Lars Ulrich

Hi Lars, this is Zack from LA, writing with great anticipation about your new album.

As a semi-frontman of Metallica, you have created a whole generation (with the help of other metal acts including Anthrax and Slayer) of metalheadz who, now that metal has become popular and belged into the mainstream, are the most visible part of youth today. And when all hope was lost, you stuck by your friends, and decided to teach the whole world that with friendship and therapy, you can create such great albums as “St. Anger” and “Death Magnetic”. And “Some Kind of Monster” was a great hit. Man, you’re succesfull.

But you know, man, somebody has to tell this to you. You suck as a drummer. Oh my god you suck. I have a band, and our drummer has played only three years. He is still much better than you after 25 years. Your pathetic “power-beat” is boring and repetetive (everything becomes repetetive after nine albums). And the worst part is, you’re not even precise. You suck even worse live.

Fuck, how could you even become a part of Metallica in the first place? Every other player in the band has shown growth in skills and in preciseness, while you have degraded into a pile of once-eaten-and-since-vomited shit. I know you have millions and don’t have to care, but COME ON, My Apocalypse is pathetic. Okay okay, it’s pathetic as a whole too, but your drumming makes it like a hundred times worse. I HATE YOU.

You should have died in the bus accident, not your most inspirative player. Learn or burn.

Fucker.

-Zack Snyder

Facebook is for no-life nitwits

Even though some people might want to argue with me, no, Facebook is not cool. It is a dull media to inform your so-called friends what politics you endure and what music you listen to. If you’re not hip, you’re not a real person.
Well, you’re not a real person even if you did, BECAUSE YOU’RE IN THE FUCKING INTERNET.

It’s dumb to make internet-personalities and act like they were anything else. That is exactly what Facebook stands for. People write the info about themselves that they want other people to know about, and nothing more. If Facebook could scan peoples thoughts (this feature is coming in the next version, I guess) it would show the cruel truth: nothing is what it seems. And no one acts like the asshole they are on person.

I’ve got better ways to inform my friends about my life: live contacts and the phone. They might cost a bit, but hell, why do people go to work? I’m so tired about this lazy lifestyle people have adapted, it causes mind-numbing dumbness and makes dumb people an even bigger majority.

-Zack

Run for the title!

I know you want to become big corporate-people. I know people want to progress in their job and make more money to support their family. The rich life is good, it welcomes you as its own child and if you leave, its your call! Let me hear the drum, maestro, the game has been set!

This is what you do: lick it up. The only message in the world that is passable and reasonable. Lick it up. To make it to the big league you’ve got to lick, suck and blow a couple of your bosses, but it’s okay, you will enjoy the ‘jobs as well in the future. Everyone takes the same route, you know, and it’s easier this way.

Stay away from the junkies and lefties! All they care about is living on public healthcare and not working to acchieve success. And that’s bad, very bad. You’ve got to understand me, this is not a joke: Stay away from them. And the bad comedians too! People make fun of us big people to help them feel bigger than us. Well, they’re not. They are small mice in the same room with us lions.

Make market free! If someone wants to suck my dick and get paid, let them! It’s allright, I’ve got enough money to support a thousand hookers and their kids. I love to get laid without thinking about the necessary bad things (condoms, broken condoms, children, child-support), it’s my right!

Kick the poor people out of their illegal condos. The squats are filthy and disgusting, we need more quality-housing and neighbourhoods in this country, nobody needs more hobos! They are dirty communists, who need to be shot immediately!

I love my job and my American family. Let there be freedom, let there be love, let there be the Great God! Let us worship, let us pray! The Great God Cash is here to stay!

- Jackie Sniderien

Porn store

I went to a porn shop the other day. I wanted to try something new, so I headed straight to the social-section. They had all these crazy motherfuckers over there, from oversized babies to undersized adults. People seem to really dig those people, judging by the grand size of the section. I also found videos about them, how cool is that? But yeah, I was disappointed, ’cause somehow they were all called “documents” and had some dull true-stories to tell.
Has no one ever told these guys that the lamest part of porn are the stories leading to the fucking?

But when we got there, it was great. There were always multiple people involved, telling other people how sad/happy/indifferent they felt during the shooting of the docs. The fellatio-factor went from zero to a hundred in about fifty seconds, when the first ugly faces got in. I just came all over myself, and I had like a hundred orgasms. Goddamn it was fine.

An hour of pure masturbation. With feelings. M-mm.
I feel complete.

-Zack

Fuck It All

Check the mirror. See yourself. Look at yourself from head to toe. What can you see? A strangely pure matter wrapped up in the best clothes suited just for you? Or a mindfucked slave trying to survive by consuming, buying and selling? The complete work of a system that makes you a part of its sickening culture, fucking you in the ass every second of your miserable life?

What does it want from you? Your money, your clothes, your balls and your fragrance. It takes and gives, makes you feel happier about the individualistic pride you get while dressing in clothes other people have designed – for you. For all of you, all of you individuals.
It is funny though, isn’t it? When six billion individuals dress the same, think the same and feel the same, have they not lost their individuality?

But IT does not care. It makes you want itself. The commercials want you to dip your cash into a hellhole, while making sure you get nothing in the deal. You just abuse yourself. No, wait, you just let them abuse you. You help them to do the job. That’s so cool, man. Helping each other is good, isn’t it?

An awful lot of questions. The answers people want to adress are hardly ever the right ones. People are on biplanes, falling fast into a spiral of their own thoughts and the ones that are fed to them. The problem lies in mixing them all.

I hate the big companies. I hate advertising. I hate the fuckers who make a bunch of people idiots (or, at least, treat them like they were idiots) and cash on them, whatever the cause. Oh yeah, there is no cause beyond money. The beloved money, the great big cash.

We are üntermensch. We are the low-life, the stupid ones, the ones who the lies are fed. Übermensch has all control.
Unless we break ourselves from the chains and Fuck It All.

Fuck it all.

-Zack